After the first Harry Potter movie came out, I decided to come up with the world's worst celebrity recasting of the American version of Harry Potter. (Because as we all know, foreign movies don't do well in the States; they have to be remade with an American cast.) It's not so much a dream cast as maybe a nightmare. Some of the choices are inspired; others are inspired lunacy.
| Gryffindor House | |
|---|---|
Harry Potter: Adam Sandler |
Ron Weasley: Ron Howard (Backup: David Caruso) |
Hermione Granger: Debra Messing |
Ginny Weasley: Molly Ringwald |
Neville Longbottom: Drew Carey |
|
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| Slytherin House | |
|---|---|
Draco Malfoy: Ricky Schroeder |
Crabbe: Matt Damon |
Goyle: Ben Affleck |
|
| Hogwarts Staff | |
|---|---|
Dumbledore: Jack Klugman |
McGonagall: Angela Lansbury |
Snape: Keanu Reeves |
Hagrid: Mr. T |
Quirrel: Greg Proops |
Lupin: George Clooney |
Gilderoy Lockhart: William Shatner |
Trelawney: Julia Roberts |
Madam Pince: Christine Baranski |
Flitwick: Danny DeVito |
| Other Students | Fleur Delacour: Reese Witherspoon |
Viktor Krum: Luke Perry (Backup: Matthew Perry) |
|---|
| Harry's Family | James Potter: Michael Richards |
Lily Potter: Julia Louis-Dreyfus |
|---|---|
Sirius Black: Viggo Mortensen |
|
Vernon Dursley: George Wendt |
Petunia Dursley: Amy Sedaris |
Dudley Dursley: Abraham Benrubi |
|
| The Dark Side | Lucius Malfoy: Phil Donahue |
Peter Pettigrew: Gilbert Gottfried |
|---|---|
| You-Know-Who: Leslie Nielsen |
|
A few good chuckles, then I burst out laughing at Shatner. Thanks.
LOL Very nice! But Raymond, is that hotlinking I see?
Heinz, that’s called leeching, and at least two of the sites are actively blocking it (although I have leeching disabled on my browser by default, so I had to enable it to see the other images).
I guess the blog software doesn’t allow Raymond to upload images.
Nice choices, by the way. :]
I was surprised to learn that Viggo Mortensen is from New York. I had thought he was from New Zealand.
The only one of these that I noticed is not from the United States is William Shatner. However, he’s still an American, as he’s from Quebec.
Oops! I found one…
Angela Lansbury is from London, England, not the Americas.
LOL @ your choice for Voldermorte.
You’ve got Ron Weasley right, I’ll tell you that :)
Hahaha. Too funny. :) Especially since I just saw HP4 last night.
I said "the American version of HP" not "the version of HP starring only Americans". My rule was that I had to choose people who were well-known in the States.
Gilbert Gottfried as Wormtail: <em>genius.</em>
And Viggo Mortensen is who I’ve had in my head as Sirius Black since I first read Prisoner of Azkaban. My HP-crazed girlfriend thinks I’m insane. After this post, I’m not sure she’s wrong.
If I were casting it, I WOULD use Shatner. I think he’d take to the part like a duck to water. :)
Vorn
Raymond, leeching (displaying images that you are not hosting) is both rude (because you are running up someone else’s bandwidth bill) and reckless (because the people hosting the images can replace them with whatever they want).
Personally I think that Mrs. Lovett would make an AWESOME Professor McGonagll.
Americans seem to believe that Angela Lansbury is only the Murder She Wrote lady, without realizing all the other amazing roles she’s played.
Btw, Valorie disagrees with me on the McGonagall thingy, she thinks Angela would make a better Sprout.
Harry Potter?
Not that I dislike him (I absolutely loved "Parker Lewis Can’t Lose" when it was on) but are you sure he’s got the "most Americans would know him" cred that the rest of your stars do?
They might change them.
http://blog.unitedheroes.net/archives/p/1453/
You have a few here that aren’t Americans, or at least weren’t born in the US. Leslie Nielson, William Shatner, Keanu Reeves were Canadian at one point or another. There are probably others here that don’t fit. I guess close enough.
But Dudley is supposed to be blond…
(Oh, never mind)
I agree that Abraham Benrubi is not as well-known as the others but (1) I like his work, and (2) I was desperate. If Dudley has to be blonde, then may I suggest as an alternative: Madonna.
OMG!!! Reeves as Snape!!!!!!!! Arrgghhh!!1 too funny!!!!
Lucy Lui! That’s just wonderful.
Fun images at mugshots.org.
There’s nothing wrong with linking to images that aren’t hosted locally. You’re not ‘running up’ their bandwidth bill anywhere more than you would be if you linked to their site directly and assumed a reasonable proportion of users clicked the link, for one – and secondarily it’s a second’s work to enable referrer-validation therefore it’s a reasonable assumption to make that if there is no referrer validation, it’s okay to use and link to the images.
Remember when hyperlinks were all about ‘the freedom’ of the internet and about ‘distributed content’ and ‘sharing’ and now they’re just an excuse for people to bitch and go ‘me me me my bandwidth?’
Perhaps just remotely replicating an entire site is a bit rude but as most of those images come from different sites, there’s no problem unless you are mad.
William Shatner as Gilderoy Lockhart is inspired to say the least… *lol*
I think this is spectacular. You may have a second career as a casting director ahead of you!
But what are Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Merryl Streep, Jack Nicolson and Robert Di Niro going to do? Surely we should at least approach them for roles?
PLEASE.
Clint Eastwood would be my choice for Dumbledoor.
Perhaps Quentin Tarrentino aas director.
oooh
can we recast some more films pleaee, this was FUN
Let’s not forget:
Screenplay by George Lucas
Directed by Richard Linklater
Music by Marc Shaiman
Songs by Elton John
Choreography by Susan Stroman (for the all-new musical numbers!)
Executive Producer: Michael Jackson
Distributed by Buena Vista Pictures
what?? matt and ben crabble & Goyle? what are you thinking!!
Maybe, maybe not.